BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION
FOR PUBLICATION: SUNDAY, JANUARY 16, 2022
DEAR ABBY by Abigail Van Buren
STRANGULATE WIFE RETURNS BY HAND TO TAKE CARE OF HER HUSBAND
DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, I separated from my husband because they abandoned me, did not respect me, and emotionally mistreated me. During the separation, he had to undergo surgery and needed to be cared for while he healed. I came back because, as his wife, I felt compelled to do the right thing.
I have tried to move on and restore my marriage, but I still don’t feel loved or appreciated. In the back of my mind, I can’t forget the way he treated me in the past. I feel stuck because he is not working and does not plan to work again. He says he can’t, but I think he could do something that isn’t strenuous. How do I find my happiness and keep doing the right thing? – CONFLICTED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR IN CONFLICT: Have you told your husband how you feel, about everything? If you have and nothing has changed, make an appointment with an attorney to find out what your obligations may be to a husband who is no longer self-sufficient.
If you have no income, you may have to support it financially from now on. For some women, this could mean staying unhappily married but living their own lives to the extent possible, and not depending on their spouse for emotional or other support.
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DEAR ABBY: I have to meet my fiancé’s adult children. They are not happy that he has been in a relationship since his mother died two years ago. I’m very nervous about it, and so is he. what do we do? – TAKING THE NEXT STEP
DEAR TOMANDO: You know them and do your best to relax, be friendly and open with them. Understand that they are still grieving the loss of their loving mother and be prepared to hear a lot. Refrain from physical displays of affection with your fiancé until he meets you.
If necessary, your father should be prepared to make it clear to you that the two of you are getting married, and while they don’t have to “love” you, he expects you to be treated with courtesy, respect, and kindness.
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DEAR ABBY: Is it customary to give a house cleaner or cleaning service a lunch or offer them food if they are doing extensive cleaning work? I ask why my mother-in-law hired a cleaning crew. She watches over my little daughter during the day. He does not cook or clean, although I pay him. Well, she gave the crew lunch. Mind you, she didn’t ask me if I was okay or if I wanted the leftovers for my own lunch. I wouldn’t mind, but I wonder if this is typical. – EQUIPMENT CLEANING LUNCH
DEAR CLEANING TEAM: Let me put it this way – it’s smart and hospitable to offer lunch if you want a happy, energetic cleaning crew who’s eager to get back. The practice is NOT uncommon.
PS: If there are leftovers you’d like to have lunch, take them out before the housekeepers arrive.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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To receive a collection of Abby’s most memorable and sought-after poems and essays, send her name and mailing address, plus a check or money order for $ 8 (US funds) to: Dear Abby – Keepers Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)
(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Clint Hooker, firstname.lastname@example.org).
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